To begin with, I loved this assignment because I love letters and I love feelings. 
Out of the many dear souls who have significantly influenced who I am today, I chose my father (of course my parents simultaneously came to mind, but as my mom and I are both equally emotionally expressive there have been numerous occasions in which I have let her know how much she means to me, whereas my dad is more reserved- though equally loving) and, awkwardly enough, one of my ex-boyfriends who is, to this day, one of the best friends I have ever had. Originally my intentions were to write an actual letter to my dad and send the e-mail to KJ (initials for the sake of anonymity…). However, after a reading of Chapter 4, especially “The Impersonal Perspective Reconsidered” and considering emoticons- I decided to reverse the order. My reasoning was simply this: Over the years, the majority of my communication with KJ has been via the internet or through texting. We are both familiar with online communication and emoticons in particular. On the other hand, nearly all my long-distance communication with my dad has been via the telephone or hand-written letters. While my parents have long had an e-mail account, my dad only recently began to have any interest in it, and now sends us picture updates of the horses and well as his classic one-liner messages. A letter, or e-mail, from him often looks something like this: “Hi Sweet. Hope classes are going well. Tahuya foaled this morning. Colt doing well but we’ll. Love, Dad” Can you believe he’d actually pay postage for that?! Back on topic- I thought it would be interesting to see how they reacted to a change in communication.
While I expected a change in THEIR communication (note my use of stresses…) I was not expecting a change in my own.
First in discussion, the e-mail to Dad: After composing my e-mail message, I was surprised to notice a difference in the way I expressed myself to him as compared to written letters in the past. When I write to my parents, especially with letters, I have a tendency to use more elaborate speech, have a less formal tone, and am guilty of many ‘asides’ and even emoticons (though I’m not positive they’re called that on paper?). In my e-mail to Dad, my speech was far more basic, my tone took on a slightly formal sense, and my message was concise, orderly and to the point. It was almost as though I was mirroring the succinct manner of my dad’s e-mails, just with a more wordy approach. This made me reflect on the way I have previously interacted online, and I came up two major self-observations.
1. When I am comfortable with a person/group in face-to-face contact, my online conduct is expressive and identity-reflective.
2. When I am unsure of how a person/group operates or how judgment is placed, my online conduct tends to be reserved and formal.
I found this interesting because in Wood/Smith they noted that students used online discussion boards/e-mails predominantly to socialize, and I actually feel considerably awkward doing so. Perhaps I am less online competent than I thought!
What was MOST surprising about this e-mail venture was my dad’s response. Instead of the short and direct, my dad’s reply was lengthy, warm AND…..he attempted emoticons! If any of you knew my dad, there would be gasps all around. Of course, his smile was a frown, and he included a brief, frustrated message that ‘these face things are a waste of time”- but he did try.
Second in discussion: The hand-written letter to KJ. My hand-written letters are the most constant in manner, perhaps because that is the communication medium I have used the most, but I did notice one slight in my communication- I was less humorous in writing than I am with him in e-mail, and that is not due to the content- as our friendship has lasted the way it has because of our mutual jokster approach to life,even the sappy stuff. The only explaination I have to offer is that I was focused on getting it mailed in time for a response….
KJ’s response was much like my dad’s, more flowery and lengthy than I would have expected from either of them, but then- people DO have warm receptions to being appreciated. I did notice that he included many of the themes of e-mail in his written response- including emoticons, lol, etc (most of which I still don’t know what they mean…not up to par on the lingo..)
Between the two means of communication and relationship maintenance, I think both have positives. I tend to associate value and genuine appreciate with letter writing because it takes more time and effort, but I also appreciate the promptness of e-mailing, you get a response while you’re still feeling the emotions employed in composing the message. So I can see online interaction to be convenient in maintaining a relationship because of the accessibility, but I can also see snail-mail preserving a relationship because of the symbolic meaning behind the act.
All in all, this was a rewarding and insightful assignment, which I obvioulsy enjoyed!
I write and mail as many letters as I can. Upon you mentioning the different levels of humor used, I realize that that is the same for me. I have a friend that has been in France for a while and my relationship with her is based on humor. We make fun of each other, quote movies and write silly things constantly on email. Even serious things are said in a humorous way. On the other hand, our letters to each other are always so much more profound. We ask each other big life questions and respond with serious thought provoking replies, humor aside.
I mentioned in my blog that maybe differences come from the amount of work that one must go through in order to mail a letter compared to sending an email. But why would the humor play less of a role? I can see that the content involved in this weeks assignment could provide an opportunity for different language, but that doesn’t explain the rest of my letters. Hm…
I think you made a lot of great points to the effects of both email and snail-mail. Email is more efficient because it takes only seconds to send and recieve, but on the other hand snail-mail is more personal due to the time you take writing it. I rarely communicate through hand written letters, and while more, still not a lot through email. I used to write hand written letter often, to my family that had moved away or my brothers whom were in college. Most of the time what would happen would be, I would send a letter and before my brother (for example) read it, he would call home and I would talk to him and usually tell him everything that I had written in my letter! Making it pointless and a waste of time! Now, if I want to talk to my brother I usually text him (so I don’t interrupt him and he can respond when he had time). When communicating with my family and friends I use a more relaxed tone in communication and probably use a lot of internet slang. If I am communicating with someone online that I don’t know, I try to be grammatically correct and formal. We have these traits in common!
I think that it is great that you recieved the opposite of what you expected from your responses to your dad and K. Just when you think you can count on someone to remain consistant, they mix things up and surprise you!!!